Laney Nelson

Gaye Merrill and Jim Beam Whiskey

This story is the first time I personally witnessed Gaye Merrill using Jim Beam Whiskey.
We invited Gaye on our family vacation to Havasupi Falls in the south rim of the Grand Canyon. This was a week long trip and she was hesitant to come because she felt like she was interrupting, but she was my sister and it just felt right to have her come along. She prepared with my family to back pack in and then hike around for the week and then back pack out. She spent a wonderful week down in the canyon sunbathing, swimming and hiking. Once day we hiked from the Main falls to Beaver falls which is about 8 miles down into the canyon to swim and take in the beauty of the desert.

On the way back Gaye was walking though the tall grass when she stubbed her toe. She didn’t say much when it happened other than she chipped her toe nail. When we got back to camp and upon further investigation she had ripped the majority of her toe nail off her great toe. Havasupi Falls is 13 miles from the trail head and 3 miles from the village which has very limited health care provisions. So after discussion she ask me to remove her toe nail. So Gay took a stick and wrapped it in cloth, placed it in her mouth and bit down, then we said a prayer together and I took her toe nail off with my Leatherman tool. The root of the nail bed was difficult to remove so I have to use the knife edge to debris tissue up under the root bed to remove the nail. Talk about spikes being driven under your nails. The great toe bled and during this whole event, Gaye did not look up, or make a sound. She held her foot still and I did not so much as whimper. When we were done the bite marks in the stick were ¼ deep and she had a slight tear in her eye. Her only comment was, that should make it in my journal. If it did not make it in her journal, it certainly did mine. She new what had to be done, she never made excesses, she just got it done. This incident could of impacted our whole family vacation, instead she just took care of business like she always has done. Selfless sacrifice for the good of us all…….

Now you are asking me about the whiskey? We had no antiseptic so we borrowed a flask of Jim Bream Whiskey from the camp next door and poured it on her big toe. We then wrapped the toe and she finished out the rest of the week without a complaint or missing a subsequent hike or swim. She staggered a little on the leg we had done the surgery on, but after the alcohol wore off she was fine. It was the only time I witness a drunk foot.
Gaye you have always been such an example. You helped me so much when I had cancer. We have truly become bother and sister. My heart aches that I cannot call you and speak to you one more time. I have called your voice mail just to hear your voice. I am grateful to have spoken to you the week before you passed. You sounded so sick but still you did not cry out for help or comfort. Just like always, you tried not to inconvenience anyone. You are truly one of the great females who has mentored and impacted my life. I will always be grateful for our friendship.

I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for his sons sacrifice in my behalf. I know that if I can live half the life you have lived I will again be able to hug you. Save me a spot on the sideline of heaven, I can’t wait to share a cup of Power Aide with you again. I will miss so much, it will not be the same at BYU without you.

Love your brother, Laney

My trainer, my second mom, my friend

I, like many, was an athlete at BYU and came in intimidated by Gaye. However, Gaye and I became buddies fast. I think by the time I ended up leaving BYU 5 years later, I spent more time with Gaye and the training room then I did with my coaches and in the gym. My first year as a gymnast Gaye was my trainer. She would fix my owies, treat my aches, tape like a pro, and always made sure I was getting my rehab done.
But my second year Gaye became my second mom and it's a good thing because I really needed her and she knew that. For some reason when I came to college I started to get injured. I think it was to make up for me walking away from club injury free except for a few bruises and sprains. And I couldn't have been any luckier to have Gaye by my side. She was there for my first surgery, cortisone shots, reactions to cortisone shots, difficult decisions, being forced to retire early, tough times in school, two more surgeries, graduation, a new job, sad times, fun times, and even play time. She was my second mom; she was there every second I needed her. There were many times I would come into the training room and we would go into her office and just talk. I liked talking with her, she listened, she laughed and it was so fun to listen to her when decided she to take some of the spot light off of me. Gaye cared!
I'm Catholic and during my second year I did not have a car. It was during Ash Wednesday and I really wanted to go to church and was trying to figure out how I was going to accomplish that. Gaye pulled me aside and without hesitation offered me to barrow her car....yes, that's right, her z340. I just looked at her, speechless. I didn't even know how to answer her. But before I could say yes she pulled me back down to reality by realizing that she had to take it in to get worked on so it was the trainer truck for me. I was so close to riding that amazing car down University Parkway; I think she just might have offered that just to get my hopes up. I don't think she wanted anyone else to beat her speed ;) That was Gaye, always thinking of others first. Faith was important to her and she knew how important it was to me, it didn't matter what the beliefs were. We always had a great time talking religion and sharing ideas and beliefs.
When I graduated BYU and moved away Gaye and I still talked, still texted. I would visit in the summers and we would always do lunch and catch up. And of course like she always did, she would bring me in the training room and fix my owies or just say I was a lost cause :) She always took care of me. I have learned so much from her and to be honest, I'm still learning from her and I will always continue to learn from her. I have always looked up to Gaye, she has always been my hero. There wasn't a month that would go by that I couldn't talk to Gaye. If we couldn't talk we texted; I always had to know how she was doing and she with me. We had become great friends. Her relationship with me as a second mom had turned into an amazing friendship. I will always continue to cherish that.
What hurts the most is we won't be able to go on our vacation that we talked about and that she won't be able to attend my wedding in August which I was so looking forward to her being there. I needed her there and I knew she wanted to be there. I'm so happy that she got to meet the man of my life. Having her tell me that I met someone that was so perfect for me and so right for me, meant the world to me. And I know that when August roles around she will be there in spirit; she will be there for all the vacations in the future. She will be there and that is all I need to know. Just like any mom and just like any friend you want them there and I know she always will be.
Gaye, thank you, I miss you, and I love you. Enjoy all the diet cokes you can drink, the candy and chocolate you can eat, and the show that's going on below you. One day, many years from now I will look forward to our talks. Until then, take care, watch over us, and know you are an angel!

Love ya,
Muscles

Holland Davis

I had the privilege of training under Gaye Merrill for two years. Gaye gave me laughs when I was having a bad day, and was my mother away from home in many instances. In addition, Gaye was with me through my first, and most painful surgery-reconstruction of my ACL. She comforted me when I was in pain, motivated me when I wanted to give up, encouraged me when I was frustrated, and shared my happiness when I improved. She was there for me as I went through the demanding days of rehabilitation. She is an influential character in my gymnastics career. I admire Gaye for her progression in what she loves, her resilience when things got tough, and for seeing the bright side in things when it feels like there is nothing but darkness. She will forever be embedded into my heart, and I will never forget her. I would not be where I am without her guidance and care. And I will miss Gaye, as she touched my life in ways I’ll always remember.

Amy Schlauder

Dearest Gaye Dawg,

I miss you, but I'm so excited to see you again. Especially because the next time you see me, you wont have to worry about my crappy back, my broken finger, or those nasty blisters on the bottoms of my feet. You might not know what to do with me, healthy, and I'm sure you'll be busy doing amazing things, but I'll be so happy to steal you for a minute, just to chat. I'll give you a big hug, without thinking twice about hurting you. And I'll compliment your hair 'cause it will be just the way you like it.

When I see you again, I'm looking forward to so many things. First of all, I can hardly wait to meet your man. :) But I hope I'll have a lot to tell you too. Like stories of being a mother, learned from way you were a mother to me. By then, I want to tell you the things I learned from hard experiences in my life, and I will thank you for showing me how to deal with adversity. I want to talk about what I learned as a teacher, and how I learned from you that the best teaching comes from example. I'll laugh with you about how I felt like the school psychologist, instead of psychology teacher. And I'll hug you again for being the world's best shrink.

I hope my faith is stronger by then, and I can better explain how your faith continued to strengthen mine throughout my life. I'll laugh with you about how silly and stupid I was in college, but I'll probably cry while I thank you again for never making me feel silly or stupid

When I see you again, I want to have someone else's tears on my shirt, just like the pools you always let me leave on yours. I hope to even have a little massage lotion on my hands. [You would always give me back massages, just to make me feel better, fully knowing they wouldn't heal my back.] I hope by then, I'll have figured out how to heal souls like you did mine, and so many others. I hope by this time, you'll know how much I really do appreciate you. I'm gonna talk to you about life when I see you again. And by then, hopefully I'll get it half as good as you do.

So it looks like I have a whole lot to learn. It might be a while, but I really am looking forward to seeing you again. I love you so much, Gaye. I know I am a better person because I know you.See you soon and love you always

Amy

Catherine "Parker" Fishback

In August of 2003, I started a journey, one which proved to be a far more difficult challenge than I had imagined. It was also a journey which I consider one of my greatest life accomplishments. On my first day reporting for the BYU Women’s Volleyball team, I met Gaye. I walked into the training room of the Smith Fieldhouse, about to start my mandatory physical, when Gaye reached out her hand firmly and said, “I’m Gaye”. I shook her hand and listened to her tell me how she would be responsible for healing all of my bodily injuries during my time as an athlete at BYU. She told me that I was expected to play through normal aches and pains but if anything felt abnormally painful or just not right, that it was my job to tell her immediately. I didn’t know how helpful this advice would prove to be as a metaphor for life. I also had no idea that over the next five years, in addition to treating my many physical ailments, Gaye would synchronously heal me emotionally, mentally, and spiritually too.

Over my five-year rollercoaster of BYU Volleyball, Gaye was a constant caretaker: always putting the team’s success and the athlete's well-being first. Not many people truly understand the sacrifice, joy, pain, passion, and true satisfaction that comes with being a college athlete. Gaye does. And she understands that to succeed you need to be strong. You need to be strong physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

I feel grateful that I was one of the lucky ones to be changed by her and I feel sad for future athletes who won’t know her. She is a hero. She is an angel.

Thanks,

Catherine "Parker" Fishback

Hugh McCutcheon wrote:

Gaye truly personified the best of the human condition. As a person she was kind, considerate, funny, intelligent and loyal. As a professional she was committed to her craft, she worked incredibly hard, and her vast knowledge of the Athletic Training profession was complimented by her wonderful personality. She was loved and will be deeply missed. My heart aches with her passing.

Hugh McCutcheon

Betzy wrote:

I am very saddened by Gaye's quick departure.

I guess that was part of her style to keep us on our toes.

I had the privilege to work with her side by side while I was at BYU. We worked with the same teams. We had good times and great times. There was never a bad day when Gaye was around.
She rocked my daughter EJ (she named her and was at the hospital when I delivered her), she teased my son Pitufo and made him laugh by nick naming him "Tofu" because she could not pronounce his name correctly. People would ask my daughter about her name "Ej" - I witnessed many of her explanations, she would proudly say "Gaye Merrill, the best BYU trainer, named me. She is my mom's friend", then she would proceed to tell them about Gaye Merrill: how strong she was, how she warmed up by jogging up the Y and back in 15 minutes, how she could do chin ups and dips with a 100 lb weight attached to her ankles, how she out run the runners at track and field meets to get to an injured athlete, how when she was on a date the car broke down and she was the one pushing the car all the way home, how her tape jobs were not tape jobs, they were works of art; how she knew everything about sports medicine and above all how she loved everyone. As the years passed and the story of my daughter's name got told, Gaye got stronger, faster, tougher and better. Last time I heard it she could run up the Y and back in 5 min. When my Ej was 17 she had a nearly fatal auto pedestrian accident, as she lay in her hospital bed with tubes coming out or going into her body, nurses and doctors would ask her about her name, and she again proudly and with a smile in her swollen face would tell them about Gaye Merrill.

I remember one time when it was my turn to be the "Guest's Trainer"- this meant that I had to be with the visiting team's ATs and tend to their needs; I had to stay on their side of the field, help them with their hydration, cryotherapy, etc. Among students the "Guest's Trainer" was the "Traitor Trainer", so I did not want to be it. As I went to Merrill with my whining she told me that I was an Athletic Trainer and that my concern should be for the athletes not the colors they were wearing. She went on to tell me that they were the visiting team, they were our guests, I was to be at my absolute best behavior (I still hold the record for the # of "See Me Now" notes from Dr D.) and to make them feel at home. Then, the killer line that I have remembered in everything I do: Merrill told me with that penetrating tone of voice: you represent BYU and all it stands for, you represent our program and the quality of our care, don't betray that! With that I whined no more. I picked up my kit, and went to the other side to be the best I could ever be. I remember looking back and there was Merrill…smiling.

Today I looked up and scanned the sky for that smile; I know she is there somewhere, maybe behind the clouds, maybe she is not hiding at all, and her smile is in every life she touched. How foolish can I be? I can feel her smile. She is right here in my home in my daughter's name and everything it stands for. I won't betray that!

I love you Gaye, my Ej admires you, and my "Tofu" still smiles big at the sound of your name!

Betzy